The Calvin and Hobbes Movie Transcript
The Calvin and Hobbes Movie Written by JaJaLoo Opening Credits (The movie opens with Calvin walking down the hall. The logo appears) The Calvin and Hobbes movie Starring Jason Sudeikis... Julia Winter... Chris Pratt... Emma Stone... Julie Kavner... Bill Hader... Mark Wahlberg... Jordan Fry... Will Ferrell... Adam Sandler... Kate McKinnon... and Daniel Radcliffe as the voice of Hobbes Produced by Patrick Crowley Brad Grey David Maisel Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Shawn Levy Scene 1:Calvin's F (Calvin opens the door and goes to his seat. He begins working as Miss Wormwood comes up to his desk.) Miss Wormwood:Calvin? Calvin:Yeah? Miss Wormwood:Your latest test. Calvin(looking at the test):F!? It seems to me if I'm not learning this material,you must not be a very good teacher! (Calvin gets a static in his brain as Miss Wormwood replies to him.) Calvin:What? Miss Wormwood:Don't play dumb with me,Calvin. You heard what I said. Calvin:No I didn't. Miss Wormwood:Yes you did. I won't put any nonsense in this. Detention. Calvin:sigh... Scene 2:Calvin's house (Dad is washing his car) Calvin:Hey,Dad. Dad:Hi,Calvin. How was school? Calvin:Terrible. I got in trouble with Ms.Cross for playing the wrong note,and got detention just for getting an F on a test. Dad:Tough day,huh? Calvin:Yeah. Well,I'm checking my tiger trap. Dad:How will you catch a tiger? Calvin:I rigged a tuna fish sandwich. Dad:Good luck. (5 minutes later) Calvin:I didn't catch a tiger. Dad:Told you you wouldn't. Scene 3:The WatchDog (Calvin comes down the stairs) Dad:Good morning,Calvin. Calvin:Morning,Dad. Dad:I have some great news. I took the day off at work and voulunteered at your school! Calvin:You're a WatchDog? I didn't see that coming Dad:Oh,so those are what the dad voulunteers are called? Calvin:Dogs stands for Dads of Great Students. Dad:Alrighty! (Later at school) Office Lady:And here is your schedule. Dad:I voulunteer at Calvin's class first? Office Lady:It's always like that. Now get out of here. (Dad enters Miss Wormwood's class) Miss Wormwood:Oh,and here is our WatchDog. Class,this is Alex Walker,Calvin's dad. You came just in time,because we're introducing our new student. Calvin:Oh,boy. A new student. Miss Wormwood:Everyone,this is Susan Derkins. She moved here from Rhode Island. Susie:Hi. And I go by Susie. (Calvin is not listening as he is imagining Spaceman Spiff.) Spaceman Spiff:The valiant Spaceman Spiff,trapped in an alien prison,is being introduced a new vile criminal. Calvin:Vile Criminal! Dad:CALVIN! Miss Wormwood:Calvin! That was not nice! Detention! Calvin:Again! Dad:That's it. I'm going to the music room. It's where to go next on my schedule. (Dad goes by the music room and walks inside. There he starts to fall in love while love music plays in the background) Sophie:And trombones in 1...2...3...oh,hello. You're the WatchDog dad,right? Dad:(Still in a trance) Sophie:Uhhh...hello? Are you dead? Dad:Oh,no. Sorry. Can we meet at the end of the day? Sophie:Sure. How about in the conference room? Dad:Sounds good. Scene 4:Bigger Problems (Calvin is eating his lunch when two girls sit next to him) Girl 1:Hi Calvin. Calvin:Hey. Girl 2:How about you sit with the new girl? Calvin:Heck no. Girl 1:Oh,wait,she's sitting here. Susie:Hi Calvin. Can I join you for lunch? Calvin:Yes. Susie:I have soup today. What do you have? Calvin:A squid-eyeball sandwich. Susie:EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(runs off) Girl 1:Calvin,you grossed her out! Calvin:So what? (the intercom comes on) Mr.Spittle:Calvin Walker,please report to the conference room after school (After school,Calvin walks to the conference room.) Calvin:Bet it's another parent teacher conference. (Calvin enters.) Dad:Hi Calvin. Sophie:Hi Calvin. Calvin:Hi Dad. Hi Mrs.Cross. Sophie:Not anymore Calvin. Calvin:You mean... Dad:Your music teacher and I are getting married. (There is a pause) Calvin:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(runs home) Scene 5:Hobbes (Calvin keeps running and hits a tiger on a tree) Tiger:OW! Watch where you're going,punk! (Calvin stops running) Calvin:Who said that? Come out! Now! Tiger:I can't. I'm in a tree. (Calvin turns around and sees the tiger on a tree.) Calvin:I CAUGHT ONE! I CAUGHT A TIGER! Neighbor:SHUT UP,WILLYA? I'm trying to sleep here! Calvin:Sorry,Mr.Harvey. Ok,tiger,what is you're name? I need to know so we can be friends. Tiger:Ok. It is Hobbes. Calvin:Hobbes. Hmmmm...That's quite a name. Hobbes:I'm named after this philosopher and his name was Thomas Hobbes.' Calvin:My dad has a Thomas Hobbes book. It's called Leviathan.